I want to start off by saying how upsetting this was for me and my family. The entire incident disgusts me and I wish that something could have been done to stop it. The loss of young life is so sad and disturbing and a parent should never have to bury their child. Nor should a child ever have to witness their friends or teachers being shot in front of them. I’ve wanted to stay quiet about this whole topic, but with the country in uproar and everyone looking for someone to blame, I realize it’s time I share. People need to learn the truth about incidents like “Sandy Hook” or “Aurora”. 

While this entire incident has been heart breaking and tragic, there is really nothing that could have been done about it. 

Yes, Lanza was mentally unstable, but that doesn’t automatically mean he was violent. Mental health services can’t be blamed because there is little to nothing they can do about this kid, or other kids with similar mental disorders. 

The idea that violent pop culture is to blame is as ridiculous. Does watching cupcake wars on tlc make you an amazing baker. Does watching American Idol make you a singer? Plenty of non-violent kids and adults play violent video games or watch violent movies.

Parental support would do little to change the problem as well. Parents can’t change the way a person is internally. Parents can’t make their kids smart, can’t change their kids sexuality, and can’t make a child not violent. 

While I personally don’t like guns, taking them away wouldn’t have done anything. Yes, the government should probably restrict semi-automatic weapons and high-capacity ammunition (which average citizens really don’t need anyway. No hunter uses a machine gun and if it’s for safety just buy a taser or small handgun with RUBBER! bullets) but that will not stop the violence in this country (though maybe hinder it). 

Perhaps the most ridiculous scapegoat is the lack of religion in schools. Are we saying that everyone who is not Christian is violent? I know plenty of killers who were Christians and plenty of pacifists who are jewish, muslim, buddhist, or atheist. Religion has absolutely nothing to do with this issue and it actually offends me that anyone would try to blame violence on it. 

Another excuse, the lack of guns in America, is equally as ridiculous. If we sent every child to school with a handgun, I can promise not every child would return each night. In my high school there were plenty of fights and had these kids had excess to guns, the carnage would have been much worse. More weapons in the already violent country definitely isn’t the answer. 

Finally, the media. While the media does overexpose these tragic incidents, they have no control over the incidents themselves. Lanza didn’t kill 20 children because he wanted to be famous. Quite frankly, there are much easier ways to be famous (such as sex-tapes, reality tv, heroism, etc.) than murder. In case you didn’t know, not every violent crime is publicized like this one. Do you know how many murders are committed each day that are not on the national news. The media should tone down, but they are not to blame. No one is to blame except Lanza. 

Sadly, this incident could not have been realistically prevented and can not be prevented in the future. If someone wants to commit a crime, really wants to, there is virtually nothing that can be done to stop them. Pessimistic, demoralizing, but true. The best thing we as Americans can do it educate our children, teach empathy, love, and care rather than hatred and greed, and finally try to explain to today’s youth that violence isn’t the answer, however cliche it may sounds. Change the way we think and act and stop asking “Whose fault is it and what could have been done?”

Once again I’m alone. All my friends have left me. This weekend has shown me how lonely I truly am. I don’t have anyone anymore.

I miss him. At least when we were friends I had someone entertaining to talk to. And now I don’t have him at all. I’m afraid to even talk to him and it’s so clear he’s over me. 

I miss her too. We were best friends, but she were never good to me. At least we had fun though.

Now I’m all alone. I don’t have anyone to support me and I’m falling apart from the inside out. Tears falling and no one to wipe them away. Heartache and sleeplessness. I wish I had someone. Anyone

But I’m alone and it has started again

So I am definitely not a wallflower.

I love people and talking and am extremely out going once I get to know you. However, I am identical to Charlie in “Perks of Being a Wallflower”. For anyone that has been reading these things since I started forever ago, you can see that.

Going to the movie I was really excited even though I had no idea what it was about. It was fantastic and I recommend it to anyone who is looking for a well acted, edited, and written movie. Charlie, the main character, suffers through death, bullying, and abuse. He has hallucinations when he loses control and is so compassionate. He deals with love, and lack there of, and friendship. All of this I dealt with as well. As we learned more and more about Charlie, I left more and more connected to him. His mental instability was identical to mine before I got help and the way he dealt with his problems is similar to how I dealt with mine. I cried and cried as the movie went on because it was a movie about me. I was sitting in that theatre watching my life play out before my eyes. 

It was beautiful. It helped me come to terms with issues I’d been dealing with recently and reassured me that someone knew how I had felt. I wish I could meet the author of the book and explain to them how touching his characters are. Most comforting of all, I know that when I am unsure of myself and need someone to lean on, I can lean on Charlie and watch out the good will return. The movie can support me, and as cheesy as that sounds, I know it is true. I will never again be alone. 

I will never again be a wilting wallflower. 

With all the stuff that has been going on in my life I’ve realized that I haven’t done any blogging at all in at least 6 months. Why? Because I’m stupid. This site used to be the only thing getting me through the day. It’s about time I went back to daily writing. Or at least letting my feelings out. 

At this point, if I don’t I’ll probably explode

I’m so sick of him stringing me along. Either you love me or you don’t. Just tell me which one it is. I can’t just keep sitting here not knowing and I can’t just keep waiting. Make a decision or I’ll make one for you. 

And as always in the average life of a high schooler, I’m single once again. Of course it wasn’t “meant to be” but a wish it could have lasted a little longer. But I’m not going to waste my time with someone who doesn’t want to put in the effort. 

And the search for love continues.

Challenge accepted

If you have any connection to social media at all, (Which you wouldn’t be reading this if you didn’t) than you probably know about the Chick-Fil-A Gay Rights standoff. The head of Chick-Fil-A, which is a traditionally christian organization, stated that he doesn’t support gay marriage and believes it is a sin. This is his honest beliefs and he had every right to state them, especially after he was asked about them. Homosexuality and Christianity are usually at odds and his view point is a common one in strong christian groups. 

However, the issue comes when his business donates large amounts of their profits to anti-gay rights groups. They are doing what they can in their power to hinder the rights of American citizens. This is where the problem starts. Yes, Chick-Fil-A had every right to make a statement about their views. Though I don’t agree with it, I believe they are entitled to an opinion (however ignorant it is). Chick-Fil-A is also in their rights to donate money to which ever group they want. However, that doesn’t mean it is right. 

How does a simple fast food restaurant dare take away the rights of others. Using their success to oppress people is wrong. Not to long ago people believed inter-racial marriage was a sin, woman were inferior to men, and blacks were property. Things have changed since then, but that does not mean we are still not oppressing Americans.

This Chick-Fil-A battle is going to be ugly. It is pitting the to strongest and most radical groups against each other; consumerism and capitalism against the youth.

Though the older generations have been against homosexuality, the current youth are strongly supportive of it, even in strong conservative state like Indiana. These young people are not only fighting the older generation, but also their very own parents. I’m lucky enough to have 2 parents that are fully accepting of people of all races, genders, religions, and sexualities, but not everyone’s parents are that supportive.  A good friend of mine had her sweet sixteen cancelled because she is fighting with her parents about this controversial topic. The most surprising thing is she is not backing down. She refuses to accept the way things are today and will fight until her parents understand they are wrong. 

But who will come out on top? Will the youth push through their own agenda and make things rights in their minds or will consumerism prevail, prompting people to continue buying their delicious chicken sandwiches. It could be the battle of the century. 

(Source: glencocohasfourcandycanes)